So, last night I was watching Farmer Wants A Wife because, well, sometimes I don't want to use my brain while watching television. And the best way to make sure that happens is by watching a silly reality show -- especially a silly dating reality show.
Farmer is basically The Bachelor: Country Style. A handsome farm boy named Matt with abs of steel gets to wine and dine and make out with a bunch of giggling hotties, one of which he says he'd like to make his wife.
Now, I know being single is tough. And that finding Mr. Right can be as elusive as capturing Osama bin Laden, but, ladies, I pose this question: Would you be willing to stick your arm up a cow's rear to determine if she's pregnant all for the sake of winning a man's heart?
I bet most of you are doing a Whitney Houston and screaming, "Aw, hell naw!!!" And I hear ya. But that's just what five girls did on the show last night. The deal was this: There were five cows, four of which were pregnant. The girls had to put on a long glove, lubricate their arm (ewww!) and reach all up inside the cow to see if she was preggers (more ewww!). The girl whose cow wasn't with baby cow was sent packing. And that girl was Ashley.
While watching this madness, I couldn't help but wonder why any woman would want to go through such lengths -- especially on TV -- for a dude they've only known for a few weeks? I don't care how much his abs rocked. Or his smile glistened. Or his biceps twitched. Or how gentlemanly he is. Being single isn't that bad. There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
I thought for sure that Kanisha, the show's lone black woman, wasn't gonna go through with the humiliating elimination stunt. Just about every sista I know wouldn't. But I quickly forgot that on the basis of a few kisses from Matt and the one date they had together, Kanisha's as much "in love" as those other misguided women. She's also pretty dumb, calling a bonfire a "bongfire" last night. Maybe where Kanisha's from, they actually have bongfires. That would be some party.
The cow thing really troubled me, mostly because I have a 13-year-old daughter. Now, my daughter doesn't watch Farmer, but she has seen some of Flavor of Love and a few other dating shows on MTV and VH1. I don't want her growing up thinking that humiliating herself is the right way to gain a boy's affection because it's not. But so many single women do just that because they're tired of being alone, the pickings are often pretty slim and, quite frankly, the competition is so fierce they feel like they have to do whatever it takes because if they don't, another woman will.
To all the women reading this blog, if you ever feel like you have to place your arm inside a cow's rear to prove you're worthy of a man's love, keep this thought in mind: That man isn't of your love.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Kevin D. Thompson writes news stories and features on Lake Worth and Greenacres for The Palm Beach Post. He has more than 30 years of newspaper and magazine experience as a writer, editor, reporter and blogger. Kevin joined the Post in January 1996 as an entertainment writer. He was the paper's television critic for 12 years (1996-2008) and theater critic for one (2008-2009). He also covered higher education and the Palm Beach County School District. Before joining The Palm Beach Post, Kevin covered entertainment extensively and wrote celebrity profiles for such newspapers and magazines as the New York Daily News, the New York Post and Essence while working as a freelance writer.